The idea of falling in love is a very common and very sweet fantasy. Many people think that the most beautiful moments of their lives are when they fall in love with someone. But I don't think so. The most beautiful thing in life, in my opinion, is having complete freedom to be yourself. And when you don't have any attachment to anything, neither to a person nor to a belief system or to a country, nor to your reputation, your name or anything else, When there is no attachment, then you are free.
The need to be in a relationship with someone is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness. There are two reasons for this:
First, because we simply don't understand ourselves fully, how can we be with someone else? The more we try to control others, the more insecure we become and the less happy we will be.
Second, when we feel lonely, we chase after people. We want to fill that void inside of us. But when a person realizes their true nature, they feel complete within themselves. He doesn't need anything from the outside world to make him happy.
We tend to project our own desires onto other people: "If you really loved me, you would do this for me." This leads to disappointment because no one can fulfill your expectations, which have nothing to do with reality anyway.
When you realize that nobody can make you happy except yourself, it is a great relief. You are no longer trapped by your desires or expectations. You never have to say "if only" again; there is nothing missing from your life, and you don't have to depend on anyone else for your happiness.
It takes two to tango. It is impossible to love someone if you are incapable of being alone. If you are unable to be with yourself, it is impossible for you to be with another. You cannot share yourself because if you try, you will lose yourself. Then there will be no freedom left for you. You would have given your freedom away to the other person and become a slave, a prisoner.
The one who loves never loses anything by loving; rather, he gains everything. That is the paradox. Only by risking it can one ever find security. That is why only those who can be alone are capable of loving, sharing, and entering the innermost core of another person — without possessing, becoming reliant on, transforming the other into a thing, or becoming addicted to the other. They give the other complete freedom because they know they will be as happy as they are now if the other departs. The other cannot take their happiness because the other does not provide it.
Love is not a relationship between two people. It is a relationship between one person and himself. When you love someone, you love that aspect of yourself that you are capable of seeing in another human being. That's why the other is so important to you. That's why he or she is so precious to you. Without the other, you can never see yourself.
The possibilities of love are not in a relationship in which one has to depend on another, but in a relationship in which both are independent and can really love each other—each loves the other because he loves himself and that other person allows him to see a bit more of himself.
Truly loving someone means seeing him as he is, without any effort on your part to change him or make him different, and without any expectations from him whatsoever; just accept him as he is. The real love does not think about changing the object of his love; he loves it as it is.
The truth is that in a relationship, you're not supposed to be dependent on the other. In fact, when two people are really in love, they help each other grow, they challenge each other, and they bring out the best in each other. You're not supposed to create an addiction to each other. You should be independent and whole even when you're apart--capable of loving others if the person you love is no longer there.
A relationship is a union of two people who have accepted each other's differences and decided to build on those differences. They see the negative sides of their partner as well, but instead of focusing on the negativity, they choose to focus on the positive parts. A relationship is all about learning from your partner and building a lasting connection with them.
Truly loving someone is the most selfless act you can do. When you love someone, you don't act out of fear, neediness, or compulsion. It's not about what you can get from them or how they make you feel. You love that person because that person makes your life complete and meaningful--because every day with them brings something new, exciting, and beautiful into your life.
When you're capable of this kind of love, it radiates from within and all around you. People who experience it will never forget it and will always come back for more. They'll fall in love with whatever aspect of your life touches them—your smile, your eyes, your spirit—but it all comes back to this love that shines through everything you are.
The ability to be alone and enjoy your own company sets you up for a healthy relationship. If you are not able to be happy when you are alone, the chances are that you may be addicted to your partner or be in an unhealthy relationship with them. You will feel sad about them leaving or being away from you, and in your mind, you will become dependent on them being around for your happiness. In such a scenario, if the other person leaves or is not around anymore, you will feel miserable and lonely.
The heart is as big as the world, and if you are true, every living being belongs to your heart.
We love you dearly.
We are here with you.
We are your family of light.
A'HO
Aurora Ray
Ambassador of the Galactic Federation
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